Becoming More Likable Is Far Simpler Than You Think

We are drawn to likable people, the individuals who is ooze charisma and energy, and personality. But is it all about what they say? Actually, it’s not.

So often, life can seem complicated, full of barriers and limitations. But, as I’ve come to find, the things in life that can unlock your real potential are simple concepts that can be easy to put into action.

Becoming a more likable person is just the same.

Be More Present

  • Put away your phone
  • Actively listen
  • Maintain eye contact
  • Shut the hell up

By not doing anything, letting that other person talk, showing them that you are engaged with what they are saying, allows that other person to feel a connection to you. You get them, you want to be with them, and you care about their input.

But, our modern life and its ticks get in the way of this. Avoid the distraction of notifications by sticking your phone in your pocket, or in a bag.

For the outgoing person, the most difficult thing for us to do is to stop talking. It’s not because we like the lime-light, but because it’s our natural instinct to want to fill silences. But you need to keep in your mind that this other person needs their chance to talk.

Make Someone Talk

Some people are not used to their opportunity to talk, or they feel their views and ideas are undervalued. So, as a person seeking better connections with people, it’s your job to coach these individuals into talking.

How do you do that?

Use open questions: why, how, what, when type questions. These are very difficult to answer with a yes / no response – unless this person really has difficultly with social norms.

Asking a person “what do you think about…”, “how did you do such and such”, “when was a time you…”, this gives the individual the opportunity to really talk.

Get Your Drill Out

But, if you really want to understand a person and their view on a topic, that initial line of questioning might not be enough. You need drill a little bit deeper, that where the meat of the topic is.

The deeper you go, the more the other person will feel you are interested in what they have to say.

Hook onto something they have said, a thought, a reason why they can’t do something: “why do you think that?”, “who says that?”, “when did you realise?”

And the amazing thing about drilling questions is that you can keep going further, and further, until you really find the pearl that is hidden deep inside.

Isn’t This Fake?

It’s true that some people would use these kinds of tactics to be a very fake person. But, with great power comes great responsibility. A false person will always be find out. So, be honest.

The reason you need to use these kinds of tactics is that, deep down, individuals want to be changed and influenced, and heard. So, isn’t it up to you to help facilitate that in the people you meet?

And, by following these techniques, they will to you being seen as a very likable person, increasing your opportunities to help more people, growing your level of influence.

Your level of success is dependent on the success of the people around you.

So, help others.

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How To Use Instagram — Gaining Followers, Likes, And Avoiding Stress

Instagram is an interesting social-media service. It’s a community built solely around images. But, getting noticed requires tactics, similar to the way building a following on Twitter would work.

Disclaimer: my experiments with Instagram and not complete, hence my followers are not astronomical. However, I have been doing plenty of research into the matter, and completing some A/B testing. I have been capable of a steady growth of followers since I took the platform seriously in January.

See my profile by searching for KG_Heath.

Getting Discovered

The most powerful element of Instagram is that the discoverability factor is high. Whilst Twitter is a closed book when it comes to finding people you might want to follow (you need to know the person you want to follow), Instagram has discovery at it’s heart.

Tapping the magnifying glass button gets you straight into discovery mode. It starts out by suggesting images you might like, and as you view and like images, Instagram’s algorithms take over and start suggesting more images based on your liking behaviour.

That means, you have a great chance of being discovered, because everyone has a chance to dip their toe in the discovery button and your images will be suggested automatically by the platform.

The next important factor is #hashtagging #everything #you #post. The more hashtags the better, but they need to be relevant to the image you are posting.

When you type in a description, you can then use the # key and as you type a word, Instagram will suggest existing hashtags and how many posts have been tagged. Choose only the really popular hashtags as that means the more people that are posting to that tag, the more people will want to look at that sort of feed.

Don’t worry about using lots of tags, everyone does it, and it’s a proven method of building your audience.

Some tags that are worth always using are the #instagood #photooftheday, and anything else with millions of posts to them.

Get Specific

I’d like to think that I’m a pretty good photographer, not the best, but also not the worst by any means. However, Instagram (especially in the early days) likes your very best images, and it likes you to be focussed on a niche.

Maybe you like making cupcakes, or have a dog — the cuter the better, like watches, beards, sunglasses, spoons, interior design, or anything else that is niche.

It’s the same rule as content creation in general, the more specific you are the better.

Comment and Like

You’ll only get so far on your content. You need to engage with the community, so they will engage back.

If you like an image, even slightly, like it. If you really like it, give a comment like: “I love it”, “awesome shot”, “you really are a talented person”.

Don’t be stingy with your likes. The cool kids like the hell out of everything, even if it’s not great, but they like everything their friends post, it’s the rules.

If something you see is really up your alley, then go ahead and follow that individual. Again, don’t be overly picky with who you follow. The more people you follow, the more likely they are to follow you back. Have I used the word follow enough yet?

Follow.

Once you are following someone, make sure to comment on their images, that way you won’t be seen as a stealthy follower who does it only for the refollow.

Don’t forget, it is a community and they want you to engage with them.

Forget Reality

Reality is the last word you should have in your mind. Everything that is posted to Instagram is not real. It is highly polished, staged, and never shows the negative side of the individuals’ lives.

So, don’t get jealous about popular people with their amazing, perfect lives. It’s not like that. They are just as flawed as you and me.

That means, you’re allowed to ham it up a bit. Compose your shots, make them look good, take multiple shots to make sure you get the best image.

Have fun and entertain your audience. They want to see wonderful images, taken well, showing something interesting.

Ermagod I’m Gonna Be Rich

Probably not.

Professional social media content creators are rare, especially the ones earning a pretty penny. It doesn’t mean you can’t earn some money, through product placements and sponsorships, but just don’t go into this thinking that is a certainty.

If it stops being fun, then you have the opportunity to stop. Delete the app, put down the phone, go and see the world.

I hope that helps you get started with Instagram.

Did you like this post? Let me know in the comments. If you have additional questions, you can comment or email thekgheath [at] gmail [dot] com.

Kieron Heath is a healthcare technology professional, author, podcaster, and lifestyle blogger. You can download his debut novel, The Marsh free here.

Hire for Personality

It’s fine having a degree, a professional qualification, or a host of memberships to professional organisations, but if you don’t have the people skills to work with colleagues, or customers then what do you really have to offer?

Think on this: it’s rare to have a job where you can work in a cupboad in complete isolation.

I was with my boss, interviewing a candidate for my team, when my boss said that the most important skill a person could have (for being successful on my team, at least) is simply “People skills.” The other parts of the job could be learned.

Read the full article.

Becoming A Master Shipper – It’s All About Batching And Scheduling Your Work

 Image source

Our entrepreneurial idols show up every day and every week. They are relentless in their ability to constantly ship one blog post, one podcast episode, one more product. How do they do it, are they hurriedly getting ready to ship that day?

Often they are, but they are also working smarter by batching their work.

I’ve spent a few weeks talking less about how to do more, and focussing on bouncing back from failures and finding some peace. But, it’s time we continue learning to step up and ship.

Because, that’s what matters. If you’re not utilising the skills of relaxation and rebooting to enable you to increase your capacity to do more, then you’re missing the point. You’re slipping into procrastination.

But, just because you need time to recharge, doesn’t mean you need to stop looking like you’re shipping.

It can be very difficult to muster the creative juices to a schedule. Instead, when you’re imagination is firing on all cylinders, you need to start squeezing every last bit of creativity out of yourself.

Writing a blog post, but got an idea for two more? Write them and then schedule them in your chosen content management system (CMS) across a few days. The outside world gets their fix, and you look like a real hound of productivity. But, maybe that was an afternoon’s work.

Recording a podcast? Record two of them, or more. This helps with scheduling the rest of your hosts, and ensures you meet your schedule. I should have completely written all of Footsteps of Madmen and sat and recorded several episodes. Oh well. At least I showed up.

Crafting something for sale? Don’t stop at one thing, make loads and you’ll have plenty of glass painted thingy-ma-jigs to sell.

In summary, maximise your productivity, and then use scheduling and other means to spread your publishing and inventory over a wider period.

What Are You Saying?

So yesterday, we discussed who you were talking to. Today, we need to think about the words that are actually coming out of your mouth and who is listening to you.

Your words have power.

You need to think about who you are and what position you have in relation to that person. Are you in a position of trust? Are you in a position of authority, or respect?

Have you ever thought about the weight of authority your words have with that individual? You need to realise that when you are in a position of authority, or respect — you have great power over how your words are received by that person.

With that power, comes great responsibility. You need to realise that when you are a trusted source of advice, or in a position where you must be listened to, you will have people hanging onto your every word and highly likely to be acting on the advice, guidance, or commands you give… or the feedback you give.

So, think back to the last thing you said to someone. Do you, now, regret what you said — have you just changed that person’s life in the wrong way because you didn’t think about what you said?